Sunday, November 30, 2008

Susan and her enlightenment...



I’ve been having a really hard time lately dealing with the uncertainty of some of the trials that I have received within the last little while, and some I have been enduring for many years. Generally, I am a comparatively cheerful person, taking pride in my outlooks on life. But recently, this pride has been stripped and left me with a feeling of unhappiness…despair, even. I can’t really even tell you why. With lots of hard work and oodles of alone time to think this past weekend, some of this determination to look at life in the positive light has come back. It occurred to me…a hard life is really a gift. A gift to grow closer to the ones that you love and trust, especially the Lord.


The easy life, in excess, is a deadly, smothering prison. The hard life, on the other hand, quickens our heart rate and gives us the energy to live and breathe. Earth abounds in what we need the most: work. Work is the proven key to life and growth. We see it all through God’s nature and his kingdom. To be passive is to die, physically and spiritually.


Hard work places before me something to tame - a horse, a stack of bills, a broken machine, or a room in disarray. But apart from the thing before me, I myself, need to be tamed. All my lower tendencies - discouragement, guile, unkindness - they MUST go! Whatever the outward task, the inner taming is my real work. Enduring well makes me whole by awakening and taming my soul.


Taming is slow work, but the good news is that slow processes cannot be quickly undone. The greatest beings in eternity gained their high ground by going uphill one step at a time. Even my exemplar, Christ, grew in stages.


Gethsemane is holy because of the whole offering made there. By the same principle, millions of other places, such as unheralded and unknown battlefields and sickbeds, are unforgettable to God. He honors the sufferings made with all one’s might, regardless of who else may notice. So when my turn comes, I hope that I can do the job with all my might, my understanding will be full, and my places of work are holy.


But, what is the work of the sufferer? Is there really a mission for one whose limbs are immovable, whose strength is gone, or whose mind is nearly expended by gnawing pain? To those in tribulation, the Lord had given special goals: faithfulness, patience, and cheer. It’s all inner work. One of my favorite scriptures is in Helaman 10. I am presently too lazy to get up and get the exact verse and the exact quote, but is says something to the effect because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever. I love that because it shows me that my sufferings may only last a short time, but the lessons and blessings will last forever. You can’t top that.


On the other hand, to endure suffering poorly might mean to grow weary. Worn-out faith and endurance fade into despair and bitterness. I have been there. And it’s reassuring to know that God never wears out or faints by the way. For the weary in need of endurance, the Son has said: “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Another favorite scripture is found in Isaiah 40 and is a mixture of a whole bunch of verses (primarily 28, 29 and 31). And I want to get this right, so I am even pulling out the good book. These verses read: The Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, faileth not, neither is weary. …He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength…They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; …they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. I LOVE it!! The Lord does not fail, he doesn’t “accidentally” gives us trials that we cannot bare. He gives us trials and the tools to make it through, and cries with us along the way.

We are not here to wait out our troubles with grit and guts, but to work through them

with grace and goodness. In my suffering, some opportunities close, but others open as never before. If you have read all the way down to the bottom of this ranting, thank you for listening. I love the time when I have a second to just sit down that write because I can learn so much from the inter-workings of my mind. Tonight I am thanking my Lord for all my minuscule trials and the strength to survive each day. Love you all!!
Susan

4 comments:

a.men said...

We all struggle with different things. I am so sorry you are having a hard time right now. My mission president once described it as the refiner's fire. You go in a piece of coal and come out a beautiful diamond. You are lucky because you have such a great family. Good Luck, Susan and we will be praying for you!

*Brittany* said...

Susan, thank you so much for that blog posting. I really needed to read that today. You are an awesome girl and I'm so sorry that you've been having a difficult time. Thank you for being such a good friend, you are definitely an example to me. I love you!

Caitlin said...

Sue - you are awesome. I've been through some similar feelings and i'm glad to know that you are looking to Christ because I can testify that it will make you happier just by doing that. I hope you know I'm here for you.

Love you!
C

Stephanie G. said...

Oh my Suebear! You are amazing and you know it! I feel bad that you have so much troubling you right now. Those internal struggles are the hardest to get through I think. You are an example to me! I am constantly struggling with things but you have given me much to hope for and strengthened me (like always). Stay close to the Savior and things will get always get better. I am always here for you. I love you girl!!