Susan and her enlightenment...

I’ve been having a really hard time lately dealing with the uncertainty of some of the trials that I have received within the last little while, and some I have been enduring for many years. Generally, I am a comparatively cheerful person, taking pride in my outlooks on life. But recently, this pride has been stripped and left me with a feeling of unhappiness…despair, even. I can’t really even tell you why. With lots of hard work and oodles of alone time to think this past weekend, some of this determination to look at life in the positive light has come back. It occurred to me…a hard life is really a gift. A gift to grow closer to the ones that you love and trust, especially the Lord.

The easy life, in excess, is a deadly, smothering prison. The hard life, on the other hand, quickens our heart rate and gives us the energy to live and breathe. Earth abounds in what we need the most: work. Work is the proven key to life and growth. We see it all through God’s nature and his kingdom. To be passive is to die, physically and spiritually.

Hard work places before me something to tame - a horse, a stack of bills, a broken machine, or a room in disarray. But apart from the thing before me, I myself, need to be tamed. All my lower tendencies - discouragement, guile, unkindness - they MUST go! Whatever the outward task, the inner taming is my real work. Enduring well makes me whole by awakening and taming my soul.

Taming is slow work, but the good news is that slow processes cannot be quickly undone. The greatest beings in eternity gained their high ground by going uphill one step at a time. Even my exemplar, Christ, grew in stages.

Gethsemane is holy because of the whole offering made there. By the same principle, millions of other places, such as unheralded and unknown battlefields and sickbeds, are unforgettable to God. He honors the sufferings made with all one’s might, regardless of who else may notice. So when my turn comes, I hope that I can do the job with all my might, my understanding will be full, and my places of work are holy.

But, what is the work of the sufferer? Is there really a mission for one whose limbs are immovable, whose strength is gone, or whose mind is nearly expended by gnawing pain? To those in tribulation, the Lord had given special goals: faithfulness, patience, and cheer. It’s all inner work. One of my favorite scriptures is in Helaman 10. I am presently too lazy to get up and get the exact verse and the exact quote, but is says something to the effect because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever. I love that because it shows me that my sufferings may only last a short time, but the lessons and blessings will last forever. You can’t top that.

On the other hand, to endure suffering poorly might mean to grow weary. Worn-out faith and endurance fade into despair and bitterness. I have been there. And it’s reassuring to know that God never wears out or faints by the way. For the weary in need of endurance, the Son has said: “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Another favorite scripture is found in Isaiah 40 and is a mixture of a whole bunch of verses (primarily 28, 29 and 31). And I want to get this right, so I am even pulling out the good book. These verses read: The Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, faileth not, neither is weary. …He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength…They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; …they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. I LOVE it!! The Lord does not fail, he doesn’t “accidentally” gives us trials that we cannot bare. He gives us trials and the tools to make it through, and cries with us along the way.

We are not here to wait out our troubles with grit and guts, but to work through them

with grace and goodness. In my suffering, some opportunities close, but others open as never before. If you have read all the way down to the bottom of this ranting, thank you for listening. I love the time when I have a second to just sit down that write because I can learn so much from the inter-workings of my mind. Tonight I am thanking my Lord for all my minuscule trials and the strength to survive each day. Love you all!!
Susan

The Perfect Storm

I don't want to rub this in more than necessary...but

GO UTES!!

Too bad Max Hall changed teams halfway through the game. Seriously, I thought that BYU was coming back with a vengeance for a little bit. I was super nervous. But, my Utes prevailed and are now headed to yet another BCS game. This will no doubt bring a lot of money into our conference...so thanks, BYU.

Plus...another exciting moment...someone at work told me that my pic was in the the Salt Lake Tribune. Tony and I are practically celebrities now. I will sign autographs for everyone on Thanksgiving...for only a small price. Haha

Carbon Monoxide + Firemen = One CRAZY night!

So I had one crazy night last night. Me and 2 of my roomies were just chilling and making some rice crispies about 9:30pm when all of a sudden we hear an alarm going off. We thought that it was just the smoke alarm because we were cooking something on the stove...so we open up all the doors and windows for a little ventilation and I walk down the hall to the detectors. But, low and behold...it wasn't the smoke detector, but the carbon monoxide detector! I've never even heard one of these go off! We didn't know what to do, we are just stupid girls who's daddy's take care of everything. So, I jump on my laptop and find the number for the South Jordan Sheriff who transfer me to the South Jordan Fire Department. I tell them the situation and they tell me to get everyone out and to a safe location NOW! So we are trying to all get some clothes on, PJ's were on at this point, and trying to catch our 2 stupid little kittens that are scared to death and hiding from us. That's when the South Jordan Fire Crew pulls up, in their big truck, in full gear to come and protect us. I tell them that I feel completely stupid for having them come out for a bunch of stupid girls that don't know what to do. But, they commended me for my quick action in calling them and reassured me that this was their job and they were happy to help. However, we didn't know that you weren't supposed to open up any doors or windows because it ventilates the air and they can't get any readings on their little devises. And that is exactly what happened, they went it our house and couldn't find anything. Even though the batteries still had a little juice in them, we all concluded that it was the batteries to blame. But, the cute firemen hung around for a second anyways...just because we were talking about the big game this Saturday...half the firemen were BYU fans and the better half were for the U. But they were super nice.

So after the men left and we went and bought new batteries, we were still feeling a little unsure about staying in our house overnight. We value our lives for some reason. So we called a few Elders from our ward over and they came and said a blessing of safety on our house. I didn't even know that you could do that! Jason and Russ were nice enough to come over at such a late hour to put our souls at rest. They are so great and I appreciate them and that they are worthy priesthood holders. In the past month we have received several priesthood blessings...we LOVE priesthood holders!! The Church IS true, no doubt!

And it was a happy ending...we all woke up this morning alive! What a good way to start the day!

Who am I sir?

Fill your lungs

and sing it out

and shout it to the sky,

We'll fight for dear old crimson

for a

Utah Man am I!

That's right...Utes go 10-0 for the season. Because my friend Caitlin is so kind to me, I get to indulge in the MUSS from the 3rd row. And, again because C-Dawg is so kind, I get to bring cute guys to the game with me. I braved the cold weather, hit Walmart for the latest styles in beanies and gloves and hit Rice Eccles Stadium geared up for Armageddon. But, low and behold, the weather was perfect. Who knew that all the warm moshing people in the MUSS would act as a barrier to the cold? In fact, I was a little too warm.

I was worried all day that Utah was going to crack under all the pressure...especially since we had representatives from The Orange Bowl, Sugar Bowl, Poinsettia, New Mexico, Fiesta and Insight in attendance. And the W even looked a little grim up until the 4th quarter. I don't know how their kicker missed 2 field goals in a row...but the U's win must have been destiny. I think it was the intimidation factor with the whole blackout, which was TOTALLY AWESOME!! The black uniforms are sick!!

I LOVE being in the MUSS. It brings such an intense energy. Especially since my seats are on the third row and right in the middle of the student mosh pit. Whenever something good happens, everyone just starts shoving each other. I fear for my life about 5 times every game, but that's college football, right? It's awesome.

But...the BEST part of the whole game is when the U intercepted the ball on the last play and everyone realized that we had won...I turn around and see that I am in the way of about 400 students wanting to get on that field. I had 2 choices...either get crushed or jump off an 8 foot cement wall and run to safety. So, Tony and I jumped and ran, not into safety, but into the big mosh in the middle of the field. Somehow we wound up around all the players and I am pretty sure I touched Louie Sakoda's butt (telling him good game, of course). It was my proudest moment - Rachel...be jealous! I also rubbed his head and told him good game...at that point he looked straight at me and asked for my hand in marriage. Not really, but I would have said yes. It's LOUIE!

So...the moral of this story...Caitlin is the bestest friend EVER, Utah is the best college team ever...and BYU better watch out...because we are coming for you next! And I will be there, 3rd row, fearing for my life. Life can't get any better.

GO UTES!!

All Hallows Eve 2008 - Party of the Century!

(These are the roomies - Nicolette, Me, Brittany and Randah)

So...I admit it...Halloween is NOT really my forte. I don't really like the whole dressing up thing. Don't judge me just yet because this year changed my mind! I don't know if it was because I now live in a house where all the girls are totally into this holiday, or if I actually had a party to attend, but this Halloween was the best EVER! And we threw the party of the century. We probably had about 50 people come. We had people in every room! Karaoke was in the family room...food/dancing was in the kitchen...people chilling in the front room, front porch and backyard...and even some of my friends had to occupy my bedroom. It was chaos! And, of course, I am picture happy so I got all the pics.

(Disclaimer: please keep in mind that I hate my smile...so I am doing the signature "kissy face" in EVERY picture. I already know I do this...)

The Girls - C-Dawg, Stephy and Me (You have to note the blue blood coming out of the cougar mouth...pure hillarity!)



Ty and Blaine of course had to impress the crowd with a B E A-utiful version of Whitney Houston's, I Will Always Love You

I support the lollipop guild

So...everyone is so interested in the date that I went on with the midget body builder. It was a blind date. I saw his picture before hand at which I commented that I thought that he looked a little short, but I was excited none the less (dates just don't come along often these days for me). Date day came and I walked upstairs only to see that he was only about 5'3"!! Please keep in mind that I am about 5'7". But, he is a body builder and spends hours in the gym, so he is as thick as he is tall. It was kinda awkward, I am not going to lie. We also went shooting...out first date and he let me handle a gun...now, that is brave!! But, it was fun and I was a good sport.